Back To December
by dontbeIgnorant
Summary: One-shot. She thought she needed their forgiveness. Rachel-centric, slight Finchel.


**A/N: **I'm currently half way through updating 'Change Me' but this little idea popped into my head and I just couldn't let it slide. So I feel the bullying Rachel endures from the Glee kids is extremely unnecessary, so this is just my way of trying to express that. Using Taylor Swifts really awesome song! Its Rachel-centric with slight hints of Finchel. **:)**

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**Back to December.**

"So, as part of your assignment last week, I asked you all to come up with a song that represents your place within the group," Mr Schuester looked around the blank faces, trying to find someone who was remotely interested in anything he was saying. He skipped past Rachel, deciding to leave her to last, knowing that she had already planned her piece as soon the words left his lips last week. He sighed deeply, realising it was a lost cause,"Rachel?" He turned to her, hoping to see her joyful, overeager expression jumping into place. He was surprised when he saw her empty shell looking at him, sorrow in her eyes, "Do you have a song?" She nodded her head and he let out a gasp of air, relieved at least someone still cared.

Rachel slowly rose from her seat, taking a deep breath, her head bowed slightly before walking to take her rightful place in the centre of the room, directly infront of the sleek black piano. "I have chosen a song that reflects the situation I feel I am in, in relevance to you," She heard the groans and mutters scattered across the room, tears pricking the corner of her eyes. She took another breath, her lips forming a firm line, "But firstly, I'd like to say to whomb I dedicate this song too." She watched smugly as all eyes turned to the far side, landing on the tall boy, whose head was burying far into his hands. Rachel tried to bite back a smile as she cleared her throat, gaining their attention again, "Though the songs relevance to my romantic situation is very obvious, I decided that I'm dedicating it to you, my fellow glee clubbers,"

Eyebrows raised and confusion spread across each of their faces, she brought her hands together, lacing them infront of her stomach, their bond tightening as she found the words to express her sorrow, "I know that you may find my, obnoxious personality sometimes hard to digest, and I feel that the constant bullying is truly unnecessary, I may see where you are coming from. I may feel superiority because of the power my voice gives me and you may feel unnoticed and angry, but all I've ever wanted was to be your friend. And I know," She turned her head to look at Finn, the last remnants of her heart shattering as he refused to look up, "That to some of you, I may have messed up any chance of friendship, but I still, still want to be that. And even if you just dust this off as another one of my attempts to form an alliance, I'm never quitting glee club, it's my life. Do with that what you wish." She felt the air thicken around her and she took a slight step forward, feeling as if a spotlight was now beaming down on her, it was her chance to shine, "So I dedicate this song, to all of you, in hope that you'll find it in your hearts to realise I'm not as bad as you make out." She turned her head to nod as Brad, and he began to gracefully play the notes.

"_I'm so glad you made time to see me.  
How's life? Tell me how's your family  
I haven't seen them in a while.  
You've been good, busier than ever,  
We small talk, work and the weather,  
Your guard is up and I know why.__Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night",  
And I go back to December all the time.  
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you.  
Wishing that I realized what I had when you were mine.  
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right  
I go back to December all the time."_

'cause the last time you saw me  
Is still burned in the back of your mind  
You gave me roses and I left them there to die.

So this is me swallowing my pride

She felt her throat tighten as a lump slowly began to rise in her throat, she bit back sobs that threatened to erupt. Her eyes were surprisingly dry, so she engaged in eye contact with each member, trying to find the power in herself to show them that she needs, no wants, their acceptance.

_"These days I haven't been sleeping  
Staying up playing back myself leavin'  
When your birthday passed and I didn't call.  
And I think about summer, all the beautiful times,  
I watched you laughing from the passenger side.  
Realized that I loved you in the fall  
_

_So this is me swallowing my pride  
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night".  
And I go back to December all the time.  
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,  
Wishing that I realized what I had when you were mine.  
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind  
I go back to December all the time."_

She grimaced as no sign of reconciliation rose to their faces, then she wasn't afraid to let the tears fall, they were her last hope. She turned to Finn, her heart on her sleeve as she sung the last lines, begging him silently to give her the forgiveness she needed.

"_I miss your tanned skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right  
And how you held me in your arms that September night  
The first time you ever saw me cry_

_Maybe this is wishful thinking,  
Probably mindless dreaming,  
If we loved again I swear I'd love you right..._

_I'd go back in time and change it but I can't.  
So if the chain is on your door I understand._

_But this is me swallowing my pride  
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night"  
And I go back to December...  
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,  
Wishing that I'd realize what I had when you were mine.  
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right.  
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind_

_I'd go back to December all the time.  
All the time"_

She finished with her arms cradling her chest, her cheeks damp from the salty tears she refused to hide anymore. "Rachel," She heard her voice softly spoken and she turned to face Mr Shue, her eyes still fixed on the linoleum flooring, "That was great. Really powerful, well done." He walked over to her carefully, gently patting her back as she regained her posture.

"Mr Shue, after that display of raw emotion, I would be very grateful if you would let me go to the bathroom, compose myself. Before I go home." She lifted her eyes as he nodded an approval, she turned to look at her peers, they all held the same posture, heads down. She whimpered and ran, her black dolly shoes squeaking on impact with the freshly cleaned floor, not turning back to see if anyone bothered to follow.

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**A/N**: I know it ended on a sad note, but it's just the way I thought they'd treat her. So the song is 'Back To December' by TaySwift if you didn't know. Please review, you know how they make my day.

_PEACE_


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